We had a crazy weekend. Lots of family and super-bowling and now this girl needs a serious break. Today I baked. Baking always soothes the soul. (I homeschooled too). I made enchiladas (low carb), peanut butter-chocolate-coconut flake cookies (these are actually healthy :), and I turned an entire loaf of bread into French toast for the kids for the week (not healthy but kid healthy). I’m about to go spend my weekly 2 hours at gymnastics waiting while they take lessons. I think I’ll practice drawing while I’m there. I’m working on a river painting, but not so good at rivers, so I’ve been practicing. I figure I can draw ten rivers before I paint the actual one. Probably need to practice painting some too, but can’t do that at gymnastics, so drawing it is. May you have a joyful week!

Weakness Isn’t So Bad

I didn’t sleep well last night, and I’m anxious today. I’m leading my homeschool co-op for the first time which makes me nervous. Actually, I’m co-leading it, but I’m not in charge. Another mom is in charge, except I’m not sure she realizes that. We’re actually pretty equal as leaders, which is weird and not very solid, and makes me nervous because I don’t want to step on her toes. We’re doing a patriotic musical with 30 kids and 4 weeks of practice before the performance. It’ll be fine :) It’s going to be crazy.

Of all nights not to sleep well, it had to be this one. So I sent my prayers up to the Lord saying I wanted to sleep better at nights, well actually, I prayed for a perfect bedroom and a perfect life. It’s dangerous to pray, because often instead of getting the answer I want, He changes my perspective. And this time, I’m learning it’s okay to be weak.

It’s okay not to have everything under control. Not to know exactly what’s going to happen. To let yourself be a little bit broken and to lean in to the unknown. Because that’s what makes you hold on to Him more tightly, it’s what makes you pray, it’s what convinces you to let Him be the leader. He makes the best leader.

Cayenne Honey 2.1


I’ve been taking the kids to the gym every morning. We hang out on the basketball court and I run my laps while they play with balls and “exercise” in their sweet exercising ways. They do cartwheels, play tag, shoot baskets. There’s also a soccer field we play on. It’s been hard, we’re all sore…(evil lunges and push-ups), but it makes us happy to get out first thing in the morning and go somewhere. When we began, I thought we had to wake up early but that didn’t work for us, so now we go later and it is just fine. Our school lasts longer in the day, but I’m okay with that. I’m hopeful about this, because one of the main blocks for my exercising has been no babysitter, no place to go when the weather is bad…and this seems to fix those two things.

Basketball Court Workout

jog around court twice
lunges to half court line
20 push-ups
grapevine (or karaoke) right the length of the court ~my kids call this the octopus :)
grapevine left the length of the court
basketball shuffle both ways
backwards running
high knees
butt kicks
keep jogging/walking/playing until the hour is up
drink lots of water

walk in between each exercise as much as you need to

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” Hebrew 12:1

How are your workouts going? How are you doing with eating on plan? How can I encourage you?


She glares at me with slanted eyes and stubborn mouth. How many times I gave that same look to my mama.
So much she doesn’t know.
I still make her do her work…
This it what makes me wonder if she’d be better of at school.
Then she would know that every child everywhere works like crazy all day long.
Every person everywhere works crazy like hamsters running on wheels we go.
So where will she run? Where will I send her?
And all I know for sure is that she needs Jesus.
I don’t care about success. I don’t care about keeping up with her grade level. (well, a little)
I am growing a child, training a child, watching a child become
So I fill her every day. I fill her with stories of the bible.
I fill her with Greek myths, Adventures in Odyssey,
we tried Call of the Wild and had to shut it off because it was so awful violent..
I turn the tv off when the child actors are not the example I want her to become
Because she is absorbing everything now and becoming
Becoming so much
I push her hard,

    We do hard things

And there’s these friends we have with daughters who are 16, 18….
beautiful, modest, gentle, kind.
they serve, without flashiness. They’re almost unnoticeable in a crowd without girly make-up or loud voices to make them stand out.
How good God is to give me a picture, a role model for my girls, a place to run towards.
Because they’re lives are not about themselves. How odd in this day and time for a teenager to not have a life about themselves.
And when you are around them, Christ is present.
He shines, He is glorified…and they serve.
And through serving, their purpose becomes.

What a radical notion to raise a child to become a servant instead of a superstar.
What school would do that?

If I Lived In A Concrete Hut In Mexico


Someone tried to break into our cars at midnight a few nights ago. Then our neighbor (who just happens to leave for work at midnight) to ask the thief what he was doing and call the police for us. Ah, the Lord protects us, doesn’t He.
But I’m not handling it so well….
This mama bear has decided a rational response is to sleep in the beds with her children guarding them.
Listening to the night sounds.

You see, my home doesn’t feel like home. It doesn’t feel safe. The bedrooms aren’t how I want them and there sure aren’t enough windows, also my yard is too small, and there is no creek running through the backyard for my kids to wade in.

But you know what I say to get myself right again when I get caught up in all the “I wants”. If I lived in Mexico in a concrete hut with no doors, freezing showers, and a dirt floor serving the Lord as a missionary, I would be completely content with my home. Because I would know it wasn’t my home. My expectations would be different. I wouldn’t expect it to be perfect, and that idea brings me back to the right perspective; the one where I realize my purpose isn’t to get my dream of what I think the perfect life is.

This is not my home.

My purpose here isn’t to settle in and build a happy life full of my dreams. I am a traveller, a servant.

There is a perfect home waiting for me in eternity. I long for it, yearning to be with Christ. Yearning for home….

Psalm 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.

Cayenne Honey 1.21

F R E S H (2)

I’m imperfect.
I’m allowed to be imperfect.
I’m covered in grace.
My weakness, His strength

“I am a seed in the palm of the one who grows all things.” ~Ann Voskamp

(I’m changing the name of Fit Friday to Cayenne Honey…two of my favorite words….cayenne life, honey grace soaked together to rev up your health journey)

This low-carb/Atkins dieting girl is finally figuring out how to eat low-fat. It’s a huge understatement to say I’ve been resistant to eating low-fat. But I’ve been switching up my meals between E and S…like a good THM girl…and  my weight budges lower when I eat E (low-fat) meals. So oatmeal and Greek yogurt, you are my new best friends. I’m even thinking about making my own Greek yogurt, just need to figure out what kind of fabric to buy, then I’m set.

Thank you, Brianna

Make Your Own Ranch Dressing ~(Gwen’s Nest)

Trim Healthy Mama in 3 Points ~(Pinch of Patience)


A Bit Of Instruction on How To Be a Good Artist, A Parent, A Creative, A Dreamer ~(Ann Voskamp) mentoring me, and thousands of other women in how to love Jesus in our lives.

Image courtesy of Mister GC at

Monster Headphones


I painted this one for my parents for Christmas.

I wear these really stupid monster headphones with spikes coming out of my head when I blog. We got them for an airplane ride for my youngest, we also got a few others but they broke and the monster ones are the only ones we have left that aren’t ear buds. I hate ear buds. I love to put my monster headphones on and turn my writing music on to escape from being a mom for a little while during the day. I remember the strange looks my husband first gave me when he saw me in them, now everyone’s used to my weirdness.